The House of Identical Lamps

Once upon a time there was a woman named Kay. She lived in a house with her husband, Eric. Kay liked to tap dance and play the ukulele. One evening, she sat thoughtfully in her living room, looking at the furnishings. A few years back, a hotel near their Manchester, New Hampshire, office had closed down and had an auction. Kay, frugal as ever, had scooped up armfuls of identical lamps for a song.

Suddenly, she turned to Eric and said, “If I have to look at those fucking identical lamps for another minute, I think I will be driven quite mad.” “It will be a short drive,” chortled her helpmate. Kay turned her gaze on Eric, and if looks could maim, Eric would have left in a basket. “Just kidding,” mumbled the chastened shrink. “What do you think we should do?” Kay thought a moment and then replied, “I think we should embark on a quest to the Land of Contemporary Lamps. We leave at once, so get the lead out of your ass, Sam Gamgee.” And they left that very afternoon…