Osaka

When I touched down in Osaka, I was so disoriented I wasn’t sure what day it was (still not sure come to that, maybe Friday?) but there was still customs to clear. There were many small Japanese women issuing commands in what I am reasonably sure was Japanese and gesticulating in various directions. I filled out the form in the smallest printing I could manage, then they took my pictures and electronically fingerprinted me. But that was just round one; then there was a second process involving baggage. Was I bringing in any knives, guns, swords or brass knuckles? No, but I should point out that you can buy as many katana as you wish once you enter the country, so go figure. Was I bringing in any opiates, cannabis, or stimulants? Well, yes to the latter; I had a doctor’s note about my Concerta, but I didn’t feel like arguing about it, so I said no, and they just let me through. Then I picked up my mobile hotspot from Ninjawireless and hoped the train for Osaka, then a cab to the hotel.

If you go to Japan and stay in a business hotel, don’t expect to be able to have your suitcase open and be lying on the bed at the same time. I’d estimate this room is half the size of the smallest hotel room I’ve ever stayed in. There is a double bed, and I can reach out and touch the small desk/counter lying here. There is a small but functional bathroom with a tiny tub. So far the toilet isn’t playing music or squirting scented water at my nethers, but who knows what the future will bring?