Mind Blown in Shinjuku

Got up and packed in preparation for heading out to Tokyo on the Shinkansen. I picked up a bento box and a Suntory for the trip; this one was about 3 hours with a couple of stops. It arrived right on time, as they always do, and I settled in for the ride. Because I decided to opt for the green car (first class, but not the highest), I had plenty of legroom. The Japanese landscape isn’t at all what I expected. There are broad, really flat plains with high mountains surrounding; it is surprising how little airable land there is in this country, but that is part of the backstory of Japan. Most of the country is uninhabitable due to all the mountains. I understand that it’s a wonderful place to backpack, but it’s a long way to travel to go camping, especially if you live in New Hampshire, where we have all the mountains and foliage you will ever want or need. Plus, you can get eaten by a Japanese brown bear. If I was eaten by a bear, I’m sure someone would say, “Well, he died doing what he loved. (What, being eaten by a bear?). 

The Bullet Train

Getting off at Tokyo Station was an experience—just a mass of humanity moving in every direction. I’ve never seen anything like it, and I lived in NYC for 5 years. It took me half an hour and a number of consultations with station agents just to find the way to the street. I got a cab and got to my hotel in Shinjuku; no trouble checking in. I knew it was a smoking room, but I wasn’t prepared for it to smell like an ashtray. I considered checking right back out, but then I had an idea. I went over to 7/11 and bought a bottle of the Japanese version of Febreze, and that made the room bearable. Also, I discovered that they have a humidifier/air cleaner in the room, so that also helps. Other than the smell, it’s comfortable and roomy by Japanese standards.

I walked downtown and was met by a gigantic throng of people. Where I say throng, I’m not just whistling Dixie; I lived in NYC for 5 years when I was in graduate school, and I know wherefore I speak. I’m sure that many of you have seen the 5-way Shibuya crossing from above, but actually crossing with the crowd is a different thing entirely. The light changes, and a horde of people comes right at you, and there is the momentary fear that they might just trample you. 

I wanted to see if I could get one of those phone cases that also holds a power back, and it was the one thing they didn’t have. They did have nearly everything imaginable, and that’s not hyperbole on my part. There are at least 8 floors of electronics, gaming supplies, anime figurines, binoculars, washing machines, luggage, and clothing. Then, they have several floors of food and liquor: octopus tentacles, wagu beef, bottles of wine for $1000, bento boxes, and exotic teas and coffees. Anyone remember the special coffee that was made more special by being passed through the digestive tract of a civet? Here you can buy similar coffees that have been passed through celebrities like George Clooney and Scarlett Johansen (I kid). 

But that’s not all. Then there are the restaurant floors. They have sushi, ramen, oden, pizza, and a faux hofbrauhaus. And they are not the kind of lousy food stands we have in our malls or airports; these are atmospheric joints that I would be more than happy to frequent. Best of all, its amazingly cheap, both in the food court and on the street. Beer goes for about 500 yen for a good-sized mug, which is about $3.24 US; I’m not sure you could get a can of PBR at Cumberland Farms for that these days. Sake is about the same, and you can get sochu or a highball (Suntory whisky and soda) for the same price. If you want to kick back and get loaded on the cheap, this is the place to do it, not that I would ever consider it. Here is a little montage of my experience:

I picked up a bunch of this stuff, and I’m keeping it on dry ice so I can bring it home to my wife. Please, Kay, don’t thank me.

All told, I spent about 2 ½ hours there, just walking around in awe. My only problem was that on the way back, my Google navigation seems to have had a psychotic decompensation and walked me around in circles for about an hour, telling me to cut through non-existent streets and re-routing me every 2 minutes. I finally approached a cook who was taking a smoke break outside his restaurant and asked him humbly (Sumimasen) to just point in the direction of my hotel, and I was back in a minute. I made a quick stop at Lawson’s for some essential supplies (a couple of onogiri and an egg salad sandwich in case I became peckish), a few beverages lest I grow thirsty, and called it a night.